Anti-Bullying Starts in First Grade

November 15-19 is Anti-Bullying Week at the schools.  Like so many others, I have been reading with dismay about the recent victims of bullying, and I ache inside for the pain these young people have experienced.

I have often thought of bullying as a problem that faces children older than mine, but a recent conversation with my first grader has given me pause.  Maybe it starts right here, right now with our little ones.

At summer's end, Katie and I went to Target to pick out her backpack, lunchbox and water bottle for the new school year.  After great deliberation, she chose a Star Wars water bottle to match her Star Wars backpack. 

Katie loves Star Wars, and she was very excited about her new items.  For the first few months of school, she proudly filled her water bottle herself and helped me pack her lunch each morning.

But a week ago, as we were packing her lunch, Katie said, "My Star Wars water bottle is too small.  It doesn't hold enough water.  Can I take a different one?"  She searched through the cupboard until she found a pink water bottle and said, "I'll bring this."

I was perplexed.  "Katie, that water bottle is no bigger than your Star Wars one.  I think it is actually smaller."

"It's fine, I'll just take it," she insisted. 

I kept pushing the issue, because it didn't make sense to me.  Suddenly, Katie burst into tears.

She wailed, "The first grade boys are teasing me at lunch because I have a Star Wars water bottle.  They say it's only for boys.  Every day they make fun of me for drinking out of it.  I want them to stop, so I'll just bring a pink water bottle."

I hugged her hard and felt my heart sink.  Such a tender young age, and already she is embarrassed about the water bottle that brought her so much excitement and joy a few months ago. 

Is this how it starts?  Do kids find someone who does something differently and start to beat it out of her, first with words and sneers?  Must my daughter conform to be accepted?