I’m about to undergo breast-augmentation surgery.
I’m also a bit of a privacy nut. Can I ask my doctor
not to put my implants’ serial numbers in my medical records?

Ah, a potential Skinemax classic: An ordinary woman gets her boobs enlarged and the next thing you know she’s being chased by Russians, the Mob, and sunglass-wearing thugs from some obscure branch of the Department of Agriculture.

We’d definitely stay up extra late to watch that flick, but if that’s the kind of scenario you’re worried about, the news is bad: Federal law compels implant manufacturers to keep tabs on their wares, and doctors are forbidden from interfering with that requirement.